Out of Control

Today has most definitely been one of those days.

You know the ones.

Where nothing goes as planned. Mess abounds. Chaos reigns. And you fight and fight and fight for anything that will relinquish the smallest bit of control.

I won’t bother listing the issues I’ve dealt with today. They are absolutely ridiculous in light of the current disasters in our country.

Hurricanes in the south. Wildfires in the north. People and animals killed. Homes destroyed. Livelihoods wiped out in the blink of an eye.

This earth is so temporary and our existence so tenuous, and in light of that knowledge we waste so much time and energy attempting to control our tiny piece of the world. We do it with our homes, our kids, our money.

Guess what? That control is an illusion.

I can’t control how many times my 2 year old says “Mommy?!” in a day.

Or how many times he poops for that matter.

I can’t control the hidden yellow jacket nest under my overgrown watermelon plants.

Or the inopportune barking of my pups.

Of course, I have to interject that control and faith that God will work things for my good are two separate topics (and something I plan to discuss at some point).

Oftentimes we wake up with big, lofty ideas about what we will be able to accomplish in a given day. I know I have hugely unrealistic expectations. (I’ll take caulking the trim in the nursery for 100, Alex!) And because I have this to-do list, I have created a box. And my children’s ideas, temperaments, needs, and self-control don’t fit in the box.

And so frustration happens.

Attitude happens.

Calling my husband multiple times to warn him he might be missing a son when he gets home happens.

So can I just encourage you mamas of little ones out there?

Most days I don’t get diddly-squat “done”.

But you know what? I keep my kids fed. I meet their needs. I am a better version of myself when I don’t try to fit them in my box and refrain from being angry about it.

Another side note though: I don’t mean to say you have to give your children all of your attention all of the time. They do need independence and all that jazz…

But if you have a kid like mine than independence fosters messes, which leads to tripping hazards and eventually a ferocious, snarling, scary mama whose bad attitude rubs off onto anyone within 100 yards.

I’d like to leave you with this scripture. One that I’ve had scrawled on a blue sticky note on my bathroom mirror for over a year.

Matthew 11:28-30

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

As for me, I am keen for some rest.



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