Well, Crap.

There are moments I am absolutely head over heels smitten with my sweet two year old boy.

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Like last night, when I was listening to a podcast. The pastor began praying and my son gets excited and begins to pray with him:

“Thank you Jesus for this food, Amen!”

Made me want to squeeze the daylights out of him… in a good way.

And then, of course, as a parent I am glowing with pride. Delighted at what he has learned from mommy and daddy.

Pride comes just before the fall.

Because, later, as he is playing with his toys, he drops a truck on to his toe and something a little less righteous and spiritual is expressed.

Crap!”

*insert monkey covering eyes emoji here*

Well, crap.

Bubble. Bursted.

Once again I am reminded of my humanity, as well as my son’s.

And of the heavy, heavy responsibility I have to raise him to know that this “Jesus” thing is not a show. It’s not an act for church or friends or family. It’s not about fixing other people. It’s about fixing myself and proving it is possible to live like Jesus.

I have to live it out each moment. I am being watched (yikes) constantly by two big brown eyes.

Yeah, yeah it’s just one little word. But that seemingly innocent word does not sound so innocent coming from the mouth of a child. And if I don’t want my son to say it, guess who else needs to stop? Mmhmmm.

I don’t want to be a do as I say not as I do type of person.

I don’t want there to be “kid” things and “adult” things.

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

No, I am not saying I am evil or you are evil. But what we let in comes out. I want to store up good treasure in my heart. Not crap.

Forgiveness. Compassion. Understanding.

These are the qualities I want to demonstrate to my children.

Motherhood is sometimes the most difficult place to keep these worth practices.

Two year olds can seem like they are out to get you, man.

They destroy the things you worked so hard to make right. They decide they’re hungry when, ten minutes ago, they were full so you put everything away. They want to put their own pants on when you need to be out the door and in the car five minutes ago. Oh, and open the door. Carry their backpack. Buckle the seat belt. Oh, and don’t go that way, Mommy, go this way!

I wonder if we are like this with God most of the time.

He wants us to lean into Him, to ask for His help, to follow the path He has laid out… and we go and mess it all up and throw a fit and wonder how this could have possibly happened.

Like your toddler who thought he could pour his own milk and spilled the whole carton on the floor and broke a cup.

But, I digress.

What are you putting in? What is coming out? Love, patience, and joy?

Whose understanding are you leaning on?

Who are you seeking?

What is filling your thoughts, and, ultimately, your heart?

Until next time… Let’s all put on love.

 

 

1 thought on “Well, Crap.”

  1. I think about this every day as I watch Charlotte grow, pound by pound and inch by inch. I keep telling myself, “oh, I’ll censor my shows when she’s older,” or “oh, I’ll yell at the dog less when she can understand me.” But that’s not how it works. We need to practice what we preach, and I need to be my best self now, not later but now so by the time she’s old enough to learn from me I’ll have had enough “practice” to be a fraction of the parent she deserves. I know what kind of child I want to raise, and I know what kind of parent I have to be for that to happen. I too dislike the idea of kid stuff/parent stuff. I want to lead by example, not a stern voice or a heavy hand. So thank you for reminding me (by showing your vulnerability) that I too need to be on my best behavior.

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